Part II: Swipe, Like, Match, Connect – Pro’s & Con’s of the Most Popular Dating Apps/sites

Love & Dating

I know this may come as a surprise to so many, especially considering how often I talk about dating, but I am, in fact, single. And I have been for some time. As a result, I have used many a dating site/app.

For someone who used to be terrified of online dating, I have sure made myself at home throughout the dating-interwebs. It’s to the point now where I know the newbies on the sites and the regulars.

Yes. That’s as sad as it sounds. Let me explain:

  • You have the folks who are on more than one site.
  • Those who periodically delete their profiles and then make a new one within a couple of weeks.
  • And, of course, one’s that continuously send the same message, making it clear that they send so many identical messages to so many people that they can’t even keep track.

I know this because I experience it, quite often in fact. I always joke that I am the greeter on dating sites. I have been on them for so long that I notice when there are new people and I’m generally going out on dates with guys who have never dated someone from an online dating site before. I really should be getting paid by these sites for my introductory services but, then again, that may not be the image I want to portray.

Seeing as how I have some experience that I never thought I would have in this area of life, I would like to share some of what I learned for those of you who are either interested in exploring an online dating venue, need a change from the one that you currently use or have no interest in doing any of this at all but are still curious about who’s who in the land of online dating and apps.

Below is a list of sites and apps that I have tried. Each are marked with one of three labels

  • “Love Potential” – this one can potentially lead to relationship success.
  • “Free Drink Potential” – Odds are you will meet some decent people and get some free drinks/meals, but that’s as far as it’s going.
  • “Is Being a Spinster Really So Bad?” – The one’s that make you wonder if this game of online dating is really necessary.

Please note that this is all based on my opinion and my opinion only. I am simply sharing my experiences with these interactive love tools.

MATCH

What I learned about the site:

Match is a popular paid dating site that sends you profiles daily of people they believe would be a good match for you. In addition, you can search preferences, show interest in someone and there are a number of online and in-person events available for members. All members can “wink” (a way of saying “hey” without actually saying “hey”), send messages and “like” photos.

What I enjoyed:

I enjoyed that if you just wanted to browse through people in your area, that is an option, whether you choose to simply scroll through a list of people or swipe through a list of people choosing if you are interested or not.

I enjoyed that they sent daily matches. I think that is a good way to get a quick look around if you haven’t had a chance to view people through other options.

I enjoyed that they offer online events and in-person events; I think that’s a unique idea and while I haven’t participated in any of these, I wouldn’t be opposed to trying this out.

What made me question my life choices:

I questioned less of my life choices and more of the sites life choices in regards to the matches. When building a profile, you not only indicate what type of person you are looking for, physically and otherwise, but you also state what body type you are. I always choose curvy and yet a lot of the matches I received specified that they were looking to date someone with an “athletic”, “slender”, etc. body type. Why bother asking if you aren’t going to match accordingly?

There is also an option that allows you to choose who you would like your matches to be in terms of the usual factors, including location and age. If my age cap is 40 years old, why are 65 year old men able to view my profile and message me? Also, if my location preferences are within 30 miles of me, why are men in Florida allowed to message me?

These 2 factors make it seem as if the site lacks attention to detail in terms of what their clientele is requesting.

Lastly, there is this feature in the app that tracks your location and then alerts you if there is a match in the same area as you or if you both crossed paths. I am not naive, I know all of these apps track your location but the way it is done is Lifetime Movie Level creepy.

Label Assigned:

 

BUMBLE

What I learned about the site:

Bumble is an app very similar to Tinder. Users swipe left if they are not interested in a user and right if they are. If the 2 individuals match, then female users can message the match. Women have 24 hours to message a match or the user disappears. It’s basically an app attempting to give women the upper hand by not only allowing them to be assertive but by also allowing them to message who they want and not having to hear from individuals that they don’t particularly want to speak to.

What I enjoyed:

I really enjoy the pro-female aspect of this app. I think it is super simple to use and kind of fun. I also like the part where I was only able to message matches. It also helped me to see where some of my flaws are with all of the online dating stuff because I noticed that I had to really push myself to message users. Not only that, but the 24 hour time limit for messaging a match gives that extra push to talk to someone.

What made me question my life choices:

Um. Nothing really. I like this app.

Label Assigned:

EHARMONY

What I learned about the site:

Eharmony has more of a guided method in terms of matching and communicating. The information that is taken from users when signing up seems pretty legit and like it would help to match appropriately. When choosing to communicate with users, you are able to choose icebreakers, questions, etc. that help to guide individuals to communicating in ways that may fit more into traditional norms and are used to really help set the ground work for conversation. All users can initiate conversation. The site sends you matches.

What I enjoyed:

I enjoy the questionnaire when first signing up for the site. As I stated, it seems pretty legit. I also enjoy the icebreakers and guided questions because I think it helps users to grasp a better idea of what may be acceptable to say and, also, helps to be able to assess, at a quicker pace, if this person aligns with your values and whatnot.

What made me question my life choices:

I’ve tried Eharmony a few times and I just can’t seem to make it work for me. I’ve seen people find love with this site, so I know it is doing something right, but, yeah, not so much for me.

One of the most frustrating things that I have noticed on this site is the struggle with location preferences. The choices are by country or distance. So, if I want to only receive matches in the U.S., then they will match me with people too far away but in the U.S. If I choose only matches by distance, then I have a bunch of matches outside of the U.S. but technically close by. By the way, I have no issues with Canada, I just don’t want to cross a border to see someone when I already feel like it is difficult for me to engage with a person who lives 5 minutes away.

Label Assigned:

 

PLENTY OF FISH

What I learned about the site:

Plenty of Fish sends you matches, has an option to swipe left or right depending upon whether you are interested or not, users can message one another and there is an assessment you can take to increase the quality of your matches. You can also see who is nearby you.

What I enjoyed:

Plenty of Fish is the app I have been on the longest and have had the most success with, which clearly means nothing as I am still single. I enjoy that there are more than the typical number of filters in regards to searching matches. I also enjoy that you can search by when a user was either online last or by newer users. This allows POF veterans, such as myself, to check for new talent while also seeing who is active and who many be a waste of time to message.

What made me question my life choices:

This app feeds way too deeply into my judgmental, obnoxious, picky dating habits. That’s probably why I’ve been on here the longest and why I am most comfortable on the site.

Label Assigned:

 

OKCUPID

What I learned about the site:

Ok Cupid has an option to swipe left or right depending upon whether you are interested or not, users can message one another and there are several hundred, if not more, questions regarding romantic relationships, platonic relationships, sex, love, career, logic and riddles that Ok Cupid seems to use to match individuals.

What I enjoyed:

Ok Cupid seems to have a lot of the same qualities as Plenty of Fish. The questions can be funny and, sometimes, intriguing.

What made me question my life choices:

The app doesn’t allow you to see who swipes that they “like” you unless you upgrade your account for a cost. Also, the questions have a tendency to take away some of the mystery and enjoyment involved in getting to know someone. Lastly, I am unsure if this is any fault of Ok Cupid, but this is the app that I tend to have the most “spam-esque” experience on. I receive the most inappropriate messages and messages that will lead absolutely nowhere with this app.

 Label Assigned:

 

TINDER

What I learned about the site:

Tinder uses the swipe left for dislike and right for like style to match users. Users can only see individuals that liked them also. There is also a Super Like option that I don’t know much about because I have no interest in it. You are also able to see if you have Facebook friends in common with users.

What I enjoyed:

The app is simple enough to use and has a fun feel to it. I also love the fact that I can see Facebook connections so I can inquire when necessary and also avoid.

What made me question my life choices:

Nothing really – despite it’s hook up reputation, I think it is a cool app.

 Label Assigned:

 

 (I know…I am surprised that I gave Tinder “Love Potential”)

The cool thing is, I can usually point out at least 1 successful couple that met on each one of these sites. I do believe that a lot of these apps and sites set up an online dating environment where you are getting what you put into it. If you are looking to sleep around, that’s probably what you are going to get. If you are looking to find a significant other, you will probably find that too. Everyone has their own preference regarding how they feel they will be most successful in meeting people and, much of the time, they aren’t aware of what that is until they have actually met someone.

As for me, I have my dating site/app preferences and I feel pretty strongly about them, but as I have stated, I know that there is some stuff I am doing to be unsuccessful. Oh and then there is the whole thing where a majority of the people on these sites/apps are beyond frustrating, humorous and confusing – all at the same time.

Part 3 shows you where I feel there are some disconnects with the men who create online dating profiles. Whether you are on a simple app, like Tinder or Bumble, or a site, such as Match or POF, you need to portray yourself in a positive light, both in regards to images and descriptions.

I’m super excited because I have been waiting to talk about this for awhile …and finally I have been given the forum to do so…

by me.

Until then…happy dating (or browsing!)

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2 Comments

  • Reply
    Colleen
    February 9, 2017 at 7:43 pm

    Another great read! I think it would be a perfect match, if you worked at one of these sites to help others fall in love ❤️
    As a former user of a couple of these sites; you nailed it.

    • Reply
      Gina
      February 12, 2017 at 3:44 am

      Aw thanks Colleen!!!

    Let The Curvy Community Know What You Think!